The “Choosing Adoption” Page
Webster defines a journey as
something suggestive of passage or movement from one place to another. And one heckuva journey it has been. We’re not going to get too detailed with it
right now (maybe a little more detail later one), but for now let me summarize how we
decided on this journey to the completion of our family and how we got to where we are
today.
We have been married for almost
four years now. After the first year we
started thinking about starting a family. After
about six unsuccessful months (yes, at this time we were doing more than thinking), we
visited a fertility doctor and took a bunch of tests (which of course came up
with….no problems). We then broached the
subject of adoption and discussed our options….adoption versus fertility. Leilani had some fertility procedures performed and
decided this wasn’t for us.
We started our adoption journey
in December of 2001 (yes, it’s been that long). We
met with the Datz Foundation (http://www.datzfound.com/
or 703-242-8800) in Vienna, VA. A good friend
who successfully adopted two beautiful children from Russia recommended them. After leaving Datz, we felt great about our agency
and completely overwhelmed about the list of tests and stacks of paperwork lying ahead of
us.
But before the paper chase, we
first had to choose the country for adoption. We
originally were planning to adopt from Russia. However,
soon before it was time to make the decision on the adoption country, Russia changed their
rules. At that time (not sure if it’s
changed again) you had to make two trips. The
first a short trip of about a week to go visit the baby for the first time and make the
decision if you’d like to adopt that child. You
then return home to the US (for up to three months) leaving the child in the Russian
orphanage, before returning to Russia and completing the adoption. Wasn’t real palatable to us. We didn’t like the idea of leaving a child in
the orphanage any longer than necessary and couldn’t see any advantage to the
children with this change in Russian rules. We
then turned to Ukraine. This program looked
good to us. The kids were darn cute and the
program looked like a good one. UNTIL….they
also changed their rules right before it was time for that decision. At the time we were looking into Ukraine (again
not sure if it’s changed), the youngest you could adopt a healthy child was eight
years old. If you wanted a younger child, you
would need to be willing to accept a child with MAJOR medical issues (missing limbs or
diagnosed with a form of cancer). Since we
weren’t prepared to take on a special needs child and wanted a baby, the Ukraine
option went out the door. We finally came upon
Kazakhstan. First we thought what and where is
a Kazakhstan. After looking further, we found
a place that was a great match: a single trip (although longer than most other countries),
healthy babies and a great, great program. The
orphanages there are so well maintained and the caregivers genuinely love the children. So, we made the decision on Kazakhstan.
On to the paperwork….We had
to get cleared from the INS and FBI; we had to have a complete Home study performed by The
Children’s Home Society of New Jersey (http://www.chsofnj.org/
or 609-695-6274). This included a social
worker (awesome lady who should be adopting from China some time soon) interviewing us
three separate times, a full FBI, INS and State Police background investigation, more and
more paperwork, and fingerprinting (again) and having the social working finally finding
us Psychologically, Physically and Financially Fit to be parents
(hmmmm….psychologically…Joe’s psychologically fit to be a parent…who
would’ve thought). We then had to get
complete physicals and visit clinics we never in the back recesses of our minds ever
thought we’d need to visit. Thank
Goodness all test results came up negative (remember negative is good in this case).
Finally in the beginning of
August 2002 we were “paper-ready”. All
these papers combined comprised the well-known testament accepted as the
“dossier” (well known if you’ve been involved in an international adoption
before). Our Dossier was then sent to the
Kazakh embassy in Washington DC, it was then translated into the Kazakh and Russian
language to be sent to the Ministers of Education and Foreign Affairs in Kazakhstan.
In the end of October we received
a referral of a baby girl in Uralsk Kazakhstan. She
was young, healthy and, even though she resembled her soon-to-be dad, very cute. We were thrilled and could not wait to meet her and
take her home with us. Three weeks later we
were notified that her biological mother had returned to take her back home. While this was a good thing that a family was
reunited, it was an extremely difficult and heart-wrenching time for us. We will NEVER forget her, she will always have a
place in our hearts and we can only hope and pray that she will have a wonderful happy
life with her family in Kazakhstan.
Just when we thought our hearts
would never mend, we received another referral of a baby girl in Almaty. She is more beautiful than we could ever have
dreamed and once again our hearts are filled with love and hope. And we cannot wait to get this little one into our
arms.
We finally received our travel
dates to leave for Almaty on April 25th. We
will be spending a total of three to four weeks in Kazakhstan (if everything sticks to
schedule). The first two weeks are
“family visitation”. The Kazakh
government likes to have the transition for the children as easy as possible. They feel if we visit the baby for two weeks, the
baby will be able to bond with us and develop and attachment during this time period (we
think this is a pretty darn good idea as well). After
this two-week bonding period, we will go to court. After
the petition for adoption hearing, we are then granted custody of the child and visit the
orphanage one last time (and I’m sure them thar tears, they’ll be a
flowin’). The week after the official
adoption is filled with…yup, you guessed it…more paperwork. Meeting with an American doctor to give her medical
clearance, becoming an American Citizen at the US Embassy, being issued a visa to leave
her birth country and we will receive an amended birth certificate for her with being
named as her parents. The Frank Foundation (http://www.frankfoundationcai.org/ or
202-452-8279) will handle most of this for us as they have done throughout the entire trip
in country.
So sit back in that big leather
lazy boy in the good ole US of A and come join us as we venture to Kaz to meet and adopt
our beautiful baby girl. |
